Monday, May 28, 2012

Social Media Sucker

Who do you know that is a Negative Nancy on social media?  Their posts are 50+% negative or self loathing.  Or they are deep sea fishing for a compliment on the regular. 

I do love social media because of its innate ability to promote expression.  Unfortunately though, some have regressed into somewhat of a passive aggressive nature as it relates to communication.  We are all guilty of this I feel, including my self at least once a week.  But there is a difference between a rant and a funk.

People are beginning to do studies that relate to the increased occurrence of anxiety, depression, and the overall stress caused by the use of social media.  Not every friend or user is considered to be a valued relationship.  Consider this:

How important is this relationship in my life?
How much do I invest in this relationship?
How much does this person invest in me?
How do I feel in their presence?

Hopefully all positive thoughts come to mind as you answer those questions.  Our relationships should not leave us feeling obligated vs. willing, unhappy together vs. unfulfilled alone, passive vs. confident.  What does an energizing relationship look like to you?

Do your social media relationships energize or drain you? Some helpful tips to freshen up your feed:

  • Set your feed settings to avoid publishing updates from Nancy.  Keep her as a friend, but turn of the mobile update ok?  Her posts are downers and create stress and concern over situations that are insignificant to your relationship or well being.  If something major happens, you will know about it, or it should be time to assess the value of the relationship.
  • Try not to "like" or "retweet" every single rant, it only encourages negative behavior.  We post for attention and the need to feel acknowledged and important to someone.  Not a bad thing if you have self worth.  Totally a bad thing if a social media site is the thermometer for your self esteem.  If your friend Nancy is having a rough time, you are just the person to reach out if she is worth it to you.  Otherwise, see the above bullet point.
  • Clean up your lists.  We hold onto people on social media as if to prove that we are important to many more people that we really are.  Hold your close one close and let the others go if they are annoying you.  They will probably not notice that they were unfriended or unfollowed.  Seriously.  If you are not ready for this, see the first bullet.


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