Help Yourself to Some of You

So I know I am forever linking you all to articles online, but seriously there is just too much good information out there. We are all pretty aware at the moment that the holidays are fast approaching. For many of us the holidays often = stress! Where to stay? Who to buy for? Where to eat? How long to stay?

Granted some families have a status quo that that we try to emulate within our own families, but perhaps the real issue is within us. What kinds of pressures are we placing on ourselves in order to fulfill the needs of others during this giving season?

I was reading a great site Goodtherapy.org and found an article about Self-esteem for the Holidays, Part 1. I never thought about viewing the season from that perspective. Could our feelings of pressure, inadequacy, failure, apprehension, etc stem from our own self-esteem and confidence during this time of year?

The article discusses two fictional characters who go out of their way for others during the holidays. We all know the wiehgt our society places upon doing for others during these few months, but does it mean doing so at the expense of ourselves? Is going into debt to please your friends and family really what they want from you? Is spreading yourself so thin that you are no longer enjoying this time really worth the work to please others, when a the end of the day you are so stressed out and tired that that you can't even give them the quality time they are actually looking for in your presence?

The article says it best:

..."We feel responsible for “getting it right” by making others happy. And if we don’t put everyone else ahead of ourselves, we’re not doing it right.

We worry that if we focus on our own needs at this time of the year, we are being selfish, or at best, we’re not in the holiday spirit.

Here is a thought to consider: Doing things to meet your own needs this holiday season will not only NOT make you selfish; it will help you communicate clearly with loved ones, and will give them permission to meet their own needs too. "...

Yes, there can be a fine line between narcissism and meeting your own needs.  However, could it be that the narcissistic individual would be worrying about this right now?  Do yourself and your family a favor this season and take a moment to give to yourself.  If you really are that people-pleaser that everyone says you are, then you have worked far to hard all year long to not be able to at least reward yourself as well.  Treating yourself with the same love and care that you exude to others will in fact do more for them in the long run, and isn't that your goal?