You Should've Called

I went out of town this weekend to Gainesville, FL to support an organization very close to my heart.  During my time there, I realized just how dependent we are on our smartphones and especially on social networks.  Case in point:  I arrived at my destination on Sunday afternoon, and instead of calling or walking upstairs to greet a person, I texted her.  Within 5 minutes she was downstairs and in my room.  We conversed like two normal people from that point forward.

Why couldn't I just call?  I can tell myself that I didn't want to disturb her, or that it was just easier to text.  However, after pondering this action of texting, I don't really believe myself.

I spent most of my day yesterday updating my personal facebook page in celebration of a milestone in the organization, yet I did not actually talk face to face with more than five people about it.

There is a fantastic website Half Of Us that addresses many of the issues facing our youth (by this I mean from your adolescence through early adulthood).  I found that video about social media and how it is impacting college students.  Since my trip was to Gainesville, FL home of the University of Florida, I felt that it fit in with this post.

This video brings a whole new perspective to the table, or I guess it is safe to say the message board or mini-feed.  These media oultets are making a huge impact on the mental health of our future leaders.  There is such a wide range of emotions associated with the use of these mediums leading to depression, anxiety, and a lot of times euphoria.

• How did you feel when you realized you had the most recent text message?
• How many times a day do you update your facebook, and are the statuses positive or negative?
• What is the real reason behind not calling and sending your next text?

Apple: Do you mean the fruit or the computer?

Lately all over the morning TV shows, there has been a ton of talk about the absence of civility in our society. Due to the advancement of cell phones, iPads, Kindles, and the like, our society now finds it practical to walk down the street with our heads facing downward into the abyss of social networks and text messages.

So you wonder why this is even an issue if everyone else is doing it? I can tell you that although people are totally checked out of the world around them, they still remain ill-tempered and apathetic to it. And what the heck does that mean?

Hypothetical: You are walking through the mall this holiday season and not one but two people in a row bump straight into you. Now this is not your typical bump, this is a sideswipe from a mom who is texting her daughter to meet for lunch in the food court, and t-bone from a 50-something single businessman who is tweeting how much he loathes the mall aside from the fact that he can strike up a convo in the linen section.

Now, I don't know about you, but I myself would say "excuse me" while trying to suppress the flat out impending temper tantrum that is imminent upon my next breath. But needless to say, the offenders fail to suppress their feelings and lash out before you can blink. What the crap is their problem?

They bumped into you. They failed to engage in their environment. They displayed a complete lack of civility. And so you are then left to wonder the age old question of "what has this world come to?"--and yes you are now officially of the age to ask such a question (speaking to my fellow peers in their late twenties and early thirties).

During my time of unemployment, I have had plenty of time to utilize the social networks for subject matter for this blog. About a week ago I came across a post from a "friend" who linked this page:

George Washington's Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation
*Read the rules and see what your missing.  If only there were an app for that.

Yes, our forefather GW--of the apple kind not Texas, is the patriarch of our country and our social structure.  We have failed him America.  Granted some of these rules are a little out there because lets face it they didn't have toothpaste in those days (read the rules and that will make sense), and it was a much simpler time.

But I ask you, does our presently complicated society mean that we can excuse bad behavior?  I think not.  I really try to make a conscious effort to treat others the way I would like to be treated.  I consider myself pretty self aware, and because of this, I intend to create an environment around myself that lends to happiness and positivity.  By this I mean: I don't blare my headphone music on airplanes, I hold doors open for others when entering and exiting a building, I say please and thank you to service employees, and I let random strangers know if their outfit is cute or if they have TP on their shoe (insert pat on the back).

In my oh so humble opinion, I feel that you do in some way create your world and we know for sure that the very environment that you live will impact your life.  So then I ask, why the heck would anyone want to be so disconnected from society that they now blame others for their discrepancies?  Their connection to Facebook and twitter have become more important than manners, and then they get mad and post about it.

I will give some people the benefit of the doubt that they simply were distracted and are polite people, but then there are the citizens that actually use their mobile device as a divider between their internal and external worlds.  We have even become so detached that we can't even call someone on their birthday because a public acknowledgment on Facebook give us more satisfaction because others can see that you made the effort.

There are arguments for both sides, and I have weighed both.  I would still like to advise everyone to Sign-in to their real social network every once in a while, you know the one that works without wi-fi?!  Or at least sit down on a bench and update your status to include how many people you see walk by in a 2 min period with their heads down--double points for collisions.

The Giving Season

November marks the beginning of the giving season.  As the stores transform their color scheme to red, greens, silvers, and golds, we tend to focus on the impending shopping season.  We can all agree that the breast cancer foundations do an amazing job of publicizing awareness of their cause, and many people do their "good deed" by contributing to a cause that everyone recognizes, or that is close to their heart. 

November also serves as a month for awareness and on the eve of the 2010 holiday season, it might be nice to take a second to look at how you can impact these causes as well.  Who knows, you may even find a way to give to a cause while you try to think of the perfect gift for someone else.

Check out this site:

November Awareness

Why do we feel the need to give anyway?  I can speak for myself, and possibly others, when I say that giving of yourself is a great way to set an example for the change you want to see in the world.  Whether it is your time, money, etc. giving something will impact your environment.

Something I want you to think about comes from the tv sitcom "Friends".  Joey claimed one episode to Phoebe that there were "no selfless good deeds".  That phrase can mean many things to many people.  I tend to view myself as a selfish person with wants and needs for the world that I live in.  I am not trying to change the world that I live in to only make it better for you, because who says that you would agree that it is better?  I am working to foster the change that I want to see happen, so that I can nurture my Sense of Self, and foster positive changes in my community.

My foundation will work to serve my interests, just as your contributions this month will work to serve yours.  Poof!  Change.  So yes, there are no such things as "selfless good deeds" because if their were, nothing good would come of it. 

Some might argue that not everyone cares enough to contribute to anything, and to those individuals who cant find it within themselves to foster change for their world, I invite them to begin or continue on their journey to nurture their Sense of Self.  At the end of the day we are only as good as our environment will allow us to be, and if you want better you must do better.